Better Sex Makes For Better Business

NSFW*

Fair warning folks, this is our first official and very *NOT Safe For Work episode. First there’s the subject matter: sex and the marketing of it. Then there are the F-words sprinkled liberally throughout so if you feel weird and uncomfortable about this stuff, you may want to skip ahead to episode 100.

But I hope you don’t because as weird and uncomfortable as the whole thing sounds there are some really great takeaways about entrepreneurship and creativity. Plus it was just loads of fun.

So What’s The Deal?

Today we talk to Kim Anami, a holistic sex and relationship coach who not only helps people have better sex and reach their full creative potential but also uses a technique she calls Vaginal Kung Fu (yes, weight lifting with your lady parts is actually a thing).

Kim’s underlying premise is that when you’re not having enough fulfilling sex you underperform in other areas of your life.

Should You Go For It?

No, I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about putting yourself out there, without diluting or censoring, without self-editing.

We talk a lot about authenticity and being yourself online but there’s also the flip side where we wonder, “TMI?”

So while we’re all sitting here wondering where do we draw the line, Kim is putting everything out there in a completely fearless way.

Gold star for being herself and for not apologizing for that.

Haters Gonna Hate. Believe In What You Do.

Kim seems to have very few haters and has found that her playful and honest approach wins more fans than not.

But that doesn’t stop people from criticizing her for being an attention seeker. Kim’s philosophy? Well of course she wants attention. Isn’t that the point of marketing?

She also says she doesn’t care what people think about her.

Ok, super big gold star for that because I don’t know about you, but I still kind of want people to like me. Ok, no, I really want people to like me. So even though I’m not going to put on airs or create a façade just to win a popularity contest, it still feels kind of crummy when people don’t like me or what I say or do.

Here’s the trick to dealing with those crummy feelings, so just keep repeating this over and over: when people hate (or just don’t like) you, it’s not about you. It’s a reflection of themselves and their beliefs.

Marketing Is Fun

Wait, what? You mean while we’re all over here sweating it out, A/B testing and trying to figure out how to get our 141-character tweet to fit in the status box, Kim is out there enjoying marketing?

That’s right! Maybe it’s because she’s having great sex or maybe she has a mindset we can learn from: enjoy what you’re doing, be creative and have fun.

In Kim’s words: “If I love it and I’m excited, those are the things that catch fire.”

Work Is Important. So Is Play.

Kim may be out there having fun and workshopping from Bali where she spends most of her time, but that doesn’t mean she’s a slacker. She puts in the time – 16-hour days like the rest of us, working on her ecourses and seminars.

But she has fun and makes sure to take time to enjoy herself. This is something all entrepreneurs would do well to practice. I know how easy it is to get caught up in a project and next thing you know a month has gone by and maybe I’ve changed my t-shirt.

Don’t laugh, you know this has happened to you!

She Still Instagrams Photos Of Her Breakfast

Her photos are just… um… different. Let’s just say her breakfast isn’t exactly on a plate.

Don’t Force Things When They’re Not There.

No, I’m still not talking about sex. The thing about Instagram for Kim is that she really wanted to do it but couldn’t figure out exactly how. In fact, she spent two years thinking about it before coming up with her current hash tag.

There are plenty of ways to market your business online and you could go a little nuts trying to keep up with them all. But that doesn’t mean you have to. Find something that works and leave the rest until you have a great “a-ha!” moment.

People Say It’s All Been Done Before.

You’ve probably heard this a million times. There is nothing new. It’s all been done before.

Doesn’t it seem like people just want to suck the creative life out of you? I mean, with an attitude like that, it makes you wonder if there’s any option but to live in a state of predictable mediocrity.

Here’s what Kim says: The only people who believe it’s all been done before are the ones who are doing things that have been done before.

Here’s what I say: Nobody has ever done you before. Do that.

Be Bold. Be Brave.

Easier said than done.

If we were all so confident about fearlessly putting ourselves out there, we wouldn’t be having a conversation about fearlessly putting ourselves out there.

And maybe not all of us will be as brave or bold or confident but I found that just listening to someone who is was very inspiring. Mostly this is why I hope you won’t squee out just because we spend an hour talking about sex. I want you to listen more deeply and tap into the creativity and the passion you hear.

Also, doesn’t it seem like there is nothing you can’t turn into a double entendre?

Ralph Giggles Like A Schoolgirl. Carol Lynn Gets Flustered.

As much as we were looking forward to this episode, we couldn’t help being a little nervous once the conversation got graphic, like, thirty seconds out of the gate.

So yes, we had our giggly moments and by the end I still couldn’t make a joke without stuttering through it, but it really was fun and ignited a few of those dozing creative brain cells.

Kim’s Marketing Action Item

Take a coffee break.

Ok, so what if Kim’s version has nothing to do with coffee? We’ll keep these show notes as safe for work as possible and leave it at that. You’ll have to listen for the rest.

Find Kim Online

• Learn more about Kim and her ecourses and salons on her website
• Find Kim on Facebook
• Follow her on Instagram @kimanami

Links & Resources

• Learn about FUKME, a terrible condition affecting 95% of women
• Kim’s Oscar tribute to Hedy Lamarr
• An 1818 ad in the Sears Roebuck catalog for “An aid every woman appreciates” (center column, just under the sewing machine)
• Listen to Ana Kasparian tell us that Kim just wants attention

Where To Listen

iTunes

Stitcher

Libsyn

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